Tomorrow I start at a new clinical site. I am feeling the calm relaxing days of my short spring break already wearing off as the reality of new classes sinks in. The University has decided to convert from quarters to semesters. Which means that in my program, the next three quarters will be smashed into TWO. Needless to say, kids, work, and marriage with extra school work on top has me wondering how I'll survive. The good part about the conversion though is that I will graduate a little early. Which means by the end of 2012, I will be done.
It would seem that going from a nurse to a nurse practitioner wouldn't be that big of a change. I'm discovering though that I am feeling out of place. I have worked as an L&D RN since 2005. My job is easy. I show up, do what I'm good at, and then go home. However, following doctors for school has made me feel like I'll never know enough. I am not a doctor and I am not going to med school but somedays I feel like I am just doing an extra long rotation a med student would do with a primary focus in OB/GYN. I may not be learning in depth cardiology, pulmonology, psychiatry or neurology but I am learning primary care and obstetrics. It is exhausting. Even though classes don't start until tomorrow, I spent some time today looking through the syllabuses so I could get my head wrapped around the new classes. What scares me is that I know how short a 10 week term is and how much I have to accomplish in that short amount of time. One of my new teachers encouraged the class to keep a journal or blog of experiences from school. Although it is a great idea and something I already really like to do, it is something that often gets neglected when I am taking classes. It is so hard to take the needed time for myself when my time is already so limited.
Last term I took a primary care class. I have a much better understanding of how to diagnose and treat a wide variety of common conditions now. I also learned a lot about screening and vaccinations. I also got to spend a lot of time learning from a great doctor and I got to meet a lot of interesting people. One woman came in the office one morning near the end of the term. She was thrilled to see me. She excitedly said, "You're the nurse who saved my life! I can't believe I found you!" I had to ask her when I cared for her because I couldn't place her face and I was sure that if I had "saved someone's life" I would have remembered...right?!? She quickly refreshed my memory of the horrible day where she teetered on death's doorstep and it all flooded right back in. There were some complications during her labor and I came on shift with her disoriented, confused, and still pregnant. Neurologically, there wasn't a whole lot working up there at the time and I was pretty sure she would never remember me. She was lucky though. She made a full recovery with a good outcome for her newborn too. The woman in the office was so different from the woman I cared for that day. I will never forget how much her family cried over her. I watched as they held her and prayed over her until I took her away for surgery. It was really good to get to know her in different circumstances. She was so happy to have lived and be able raise her children. She is a survivor.
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